Helping our Children Build a Resilience Toolkit
The importance of resilience has never been more obvious than it has during the past year. Defined as “the ability to successfully adapt in the face of adversity,” both adults and children have needed to practice resilience to manage the change and uncertainty of the pandemic. So, how can we, as parents and educators, ensure our children have enough resilience to survive and even thrive under life’s inevitable and sometimes extraordinary challenges?
Resilience is not something we’re “just born with”. Instead, it is a skill that can be practiced and developed over time. The Center on the Developing Child at Harvard tells us to picture a balance scale. On one end are life’s adverse experiences (e.g., trauma, loss, poverty, crime, bullying, racism, illness) that can impede a child’s development toward a happy, healthy future. On the other side are sources of resilience that can act as a counterbalance: Strong Supportive Relationships, Problem Solving, and Self Regulation/Awareness. The goal, of course, is to load up the positive side so that the scale is tipped in its favor, no matter the weight added on the opposite side.
Here are few everyday activities that can help our children to fill up their “Resilience Toolkits”:
Legos, blocks, and other tactile toys help children set goals, plan, and problem solve. These activities offer opportunities for rich interactions. (Strong relationships, Problem Solving Skills)
Play Simon Says, Freeze Dance, and Red Light Green Light (Self Regulation).
Reading books together can build connections, help identify emotions and work out problems.
(Strong Relationships, Problem Solving)Pretend play or puppet play can help children express their thoughts and worries. They can be wonderful ways to establish trust, and talk through difficult issues (Strong Relationships, Problem Solving)
Breathing exercises, yoga, mindfulness, and reflection can develop the ability to calm oneself and create inner awareness (Self Awareness/Self Regulation)
Singing, dancing, listening to music together builds connections but also helps children express their emotions.
Making children increasingly responsible for everyday routines – Learning to get dressed, brushing teeth, putting away toys, etc. fosters confidence, competence, and consistency (Problem-solving, Strong relationships, Self Regulation)
Let’s work together with our children to help them build their “Resilience Toolkit” that will help them develop the essential skills, habits, and attitudes they can summon throughout life when challenges arise.
Written by Carol Lieske, Executive Director